This is an interview from 1997 (I think) when Blur came to Australia and were interviewed by DJ Ugly Phil on 2Day FM. They were interviewed for about an hour and basically spent the whole time talking over each other, arguing, having separate conversations in the background, falling asleep or saying nothing at all. I tried to make sense of who was saying what. I think the jet-lag had got the better of them in the end...
UGLY PHIL- Itís so typical isnít it? We turn the microphone on and all of a sudden no one talks. (laughs) After sitting here and dissing Elton John for the last half and hour. So anyway- welcome to Australia, blah blah blah blah blah, how was the... American tour, was that alright?
DAMON- Yeah... yeah
UP-Cos we heard that it wasnít all that happy. That you guys really hated it and... you couldnít wait to come to Australia.
D- Well thatís true. Thatís true.
UP- Oh ok! (laughs)
D- No there was... it was... well, thereís- it was just long and it was the 3rd time weíd been and everything was getting very familiar.
D- Yeah, so in that sense it was hard but it was one of those things that when you finished it you felt well... quite good about the fact that I managed to-
GRAHAM- I had a bit of an identity crisis in America.
UP- Did you? Why- what happened?
G- I dunno, weíd been there so much and I was kinda spending extra time out there-
D- Yeah we were.
G- And I really just didnít know who I was.
D- I thought we were gonna move out there. I thought that was it.
UP- And you said Ďif you call me Elvis Costello one more time thatís ití. (silence) Thatís the glasses-
UP- Oh shit, I didnít mean to diss the band especially not at the beginning of the interview.
G- But thatís another glasses comment-
UP- Yeah I know! And we werenít even talking about that, we were talking about that... druG-nosed, piG-nosed Elton John! Anyway...
D- No, globe-straddling.
(All as a group) Drug hoover, drug-pig!
UP- (laughing like mental)
ALEX- Who said that? He deserves a medal!
UP- Thatís a great name for the next Blur album isnít it? (menacingly) Drug Pig! (laughter) (deep breath) Anyway...
DAVE- (laughs) I love your linking style! "hahahaha- AnywayÖ"
UP- There you go. I thought you said linking- you did say Ďlinkingí didnít you? Um... do they throw stuff at you in New York? At one of the gigs?
A- What when youíre walking down the street?
A- (to one side) Well he said Ďdo they throw stuff at you?í
D- No, no you got that mixed up, er, we were playing the KROQ
UP- gig, yeah...
D- Whatever it is... Fest. Why thereís no Ďevilí at the end.
G- Luscious Jackson-
D- Yeah Luscious Jackson walked off. They got... bowled off.
UP- Because thatís a big Australian custom to throw shit at the band. I hope you guys donít mind, yknow, weíll be like ĎSee Blur! Throw ____?í (- didnít catch what he said)
D- Not as bad as South America where they spit at you so you have to have big fans at the front to kind of... blow the spit back into the audience.
UP- Yeah thatís cos of the camels. Thatís the big camel thing there- thatís actually known as a greeting. Thatís actually a kind of... term of enderment.
G- Camel spit.
D- Thereís no camelís in South America.
UP- Oh ok. (laughs)
D- Really unpleasant habit.
UP- Ok, I made that bit up then. Um, and you did the Tibetan-
D- Llamaís. Lotís of llamaís though- they spit as well donít they?
UP- Yeah, but not as far as camels. Camels can spit one hundred meters.
A- (rustling and protesting noises)
D- Youíve got a lot of camels that arenít supposed to be here-
UP- (to Alex) Yeah, one hundred meters.
A- No they canít. They canít.
Dv- How do they spit one hundred meters?
A- You lie! You lie!
UP- One hundred meters- no I would *not* make that up. A hundred- oh it could be a hundred feet. (silence) Maybe itís ten meters...
(group laughter and mass comments of Ďthatís a long wayí Ď100m is quite a long wayí)
UP- Letís check out the brand new single right now. And weíll be back to talk more about camels and llamaís with Blur. This is MOR. (plays MOR)
UP- So um, the Tibet concert in Washington and New York... what was all that about?
A- It was very worthy and... very nice to be involved with.
UP- Yeah? Did you put that in your tax return like, yknow, have you done any tax free stuff this year?
D- (a bit too fiesty than necesscary) Shut up Alex you ponce! I fucking hate you when you talk like that!
A- (heavy breathing)
D- Makes me just wanna go like *that* to you.
Dv- Bit of friction here, bit of friction- brotherly friction.
D- No it just winds me up because it was such a... wonderful day and he just... doesnít get it at all. Things like that.
UP- I was being cynical. I was enjoying being cynical now Iím going to have to come down and go Ďyeah it was greatí. Yknow- I was-
D- (starts saying something)
UP- I was on your side Alex!
(Damon and Graham both start talking on top of each other which basically sounds like-) D-(raising his voice) No no no but- I actually, well I personally felt... I was very, I was very moved by that day
G-I had to play guitar infront of two of my heroes which was very- which was very-
D- (continuing) And I just find his cynicism towards it a bit erm...
UP- Ok ok. Cynicism...
D- A bit unpleasant.
UP- ErÖ Dalai Llama rejoycement... uh, hero worshipping... Did you get anything out of this gig over there? (laughing)
G- No not hero worshipping, I just had to perform infront of two... of my kind of... contemporary heroes.
UP- Who was that?
G- Thurston Moore and
UP- (cheerfully) Right! And Thurstonís worked on your new album! Or doing a remix.
G-Well, heís done a remix, yeah, he did a kind of um, an attempt at a kind of um... a symphonic poem. Sort of thing. Yeah.
UP- Right. (silence) Talking about Sonic Youth makes everyone... down doesnít it?
G- No- doesnít make me down.
UP- OK well I wonít talk about them anyway.
G- Makes me confused and scared.
UP- Yeah? Why? What you might like- end up like that?
G-Because they play confusing and scary music.
UP- Yeah? All of a sudden thereíll be this song out- thereíll be no hook line, just a whole bunch of guitar being fed back through a washing machine. Yknow.
Dv- Oh thatís a very... cynical approach to-
UP- (laughing) Itís not cynical itís good! (everyone starts talking over the top of each other)
D- I think you and Alex will get it fantastic.
UP- No youíve pissed him off. Youíve pissed him off see- heís not gonna talk now.
D- See weíve spent too much time in America. Weíre starting to get cold sweats with all this, all this cynicism.
G- I think thatís just... flippancy.
UP- What flippant? To what- call Sonic Youth music feedback into a washing machine? I thought it was creative. If NME had written that you wouldíve liked it. Hey?
A- Iím with you there mate. Iím with you there I think theyíre crap.
UP- Yeah good on you Alex.
G- Youíre making my palms sweat alright- just shut up!
UP- Haha. Hey um...
Dv- Bit of a swine sir? Bit of a swine?
UP- You canít say swine on Australian radio! What do you think you are?
G- Er, Drug Pig.
UP- Yeah Drug Pigís right.
D- Reminds me of Botany Bay doesnít it? (I think he was looking out the window)
UP- Yeah it does. So you havenít seen any sunshine the whole way over here?
D- Oh hereís comeís the sunshine.
UP- Yeah hereís the sun-
D- Ah- Brisbane was fantastic. But as soon as we got here it was like, you were gonna get killed by an axe murderer anD-
UP- Yeah thatís really freaked you out hasnít it?
D- It has. I was, I was looking in my cupboards in the hotel last night. I heard a bang and I was like "Fuck- heís in here!"
UP- (laughing) Thatís room service!
D- (laughing) Heís in here!
UP- Yeah room service- would you like us to cut that sandwich sirÖ with an axe!
D- (raising his voice and getting a bit excited) I just imagined the door suddenly-
D- No just this... This kind of blade coming through the door.
UP- Back with more from Blur in a moment!
A- Thereís Ash in there- we should get their autographs! I like Ash...
UP- Ash are good though. They have a new single out called ĎLife Less Ordinaryí from the movie... Which doesnít... star... Damon.
D- No well.. no no no- no movies star me. I wouldnít star in a movie.
UP- No thatís right. Why would one want to go and do that?
D- Ash write some lovely songs.
G- (rustling and standing up noises)
UP- Thatís it. Heís had enough.
G- Iím just going to have a stretch.
UP- (relief) I thought you were going to come over and punch me for a second. I was like Ďoh you ready to go yeah alright!í
G- I was kinda head first, but the thought pulled off when I was standing up.
UP- I donít have anything else to talk about. So if you want to ask any questions or anything like that, you can go right ahead.
(In the background Dave says Ďwhat should we do tomorrow- on our day off?í)
A- What are you doing tonight?
UP- (sigh) When are you doing a gig? Is that tonight?
A- Are you coming?
UP- No, cos I have to work. Unless you can-
D- Weíre playing for 3 nights.
Dv- We can video it for ya.
UP- Can you start the gig at about 11? Is that possible?
G- (taking the question seriously) No. Curfewís and rules and things.
UP- YeahÖ well maybe you can do like, a jazz fusion gig and like, keep it going for like 20 mins.
G- Well I mean, thereís elements of that anyway.
UP- (trying another attempt at humour) Yeah. Yeah... sort of, half an hour off of parliament in the middle of something.
Dv- We could go off before the encore for like...
Dv- 2 hours or something...
UP- Yeah- re-cue the DAT (laughs)
A- (chuckles) Right... thatís true actually.
UP- Anything else you want to mention? How come the station upstairs got an acoustic and we didnít and we support you guys a hell of a lot more?
D- Is that the case?
UP- Yeah I was really pissed.
D- Oh well thatís kind of not really our bag is it?
UP- Yeah- I donít care anymore. I donít care, I donít want to know.
(cut to ad break)
(Come back to Blur singing a Gregorian Monk chant. An actual recording of one cuts in halfway thru to much giggling and shh-ing)
A- Itís really us! We werenít miming!
UP- I know! I know!
G- Hey, hey, weíre The Monks!
(silence followed by mass laughter)
UP- Yeah, a lighter version. Have you heard many Australian bands by the way?
A- Stereolab have got an Australian girl in and theyíre great!
UP- Theyíre on Richard Bransonís new label arenít they? V2. And heís just signed
G- (to one side) Is Stereolab on that?
A- I dunno.
G- Oh my God... there, there is a really good Australian band...
UP- silverchair? You heard of them?
D- No no- donít like them particularly.
A- Theyíre crap.
UP- Why? Why donít you like silverchair?
D- Nick Cave obviously but I mean, is he really-
G- I like him.
D- Is he really the top man in Australia?
UP- Whoís that- Nick Cave?
UP Ė Nah. Nah- who would be?
D- Cos heís the most famous Autsralian in Britain.
G- Apart from Jim off Neighbours. Or whatever.
UP- John Farnham. Heís big.
D- Jimmy Barnes?
UP- Yeah! Jimmy!
And thatís when it ends. I think they did one more segment thingy. They replayed bits of it a few months later and all I caught was:
A- Best band in the world! (mysterious clinking of glasses in the background) I've 'ad enough!
G- We're one of the best bands in the world.
D- We're are one of the best bands, there's no question about that.
D- But not *the* best, but one of the best.
UP- Why, why- who is the best band?
D- There isn't *the* best because every- because the best bands in thw world are very good at what they do, yknow but no one's... it's not possible to be the best at everything.