This is an interview from 1997 (I think) when Blur came to Australia and were interviewed by DJ Ugly Phil on 2Day FM. They were interviewed for about an hour and basically spent the whole time talking over each other, arguing, having separate conversations in the background, falling asleep or saying nothing at all. I tried to make sense of who was saying what. I think the jet-lag had got the better of them in the end...
(silence)
UGLY PHIL- It’s so typical isn’t it? We turn the microphone on and all of a sudden no one talks. (laughs) After sitting here and dissing Elton John for the last half and hour. So anyway- welcome to Australia, blah blah blah blah blah, how was the... American tour, was that alright?
DAMON- Yeah... yeah
UP-Cos we heard that it wasn’t all that happy. That you guys really hated it and... you couldn’t wait to come to Australia.
D- Well that’s true. That’s true.
UP- Oh ok! (laughs)
D- No there was... it was... well, there’s- it was just long and it was the 3rd time we’d been and everything was getting very familiar.
UP- Yeah?
D- Yeah, so in that sense it was hard but it was one of those things that when you finished it you felt well... quite good about the fact that I managed to-
GRAHAM- I had a bit of an identity crisis in America.
UP- Did you? Why- what happened?
G- I dunno, we’d been there so much and I was kinda spending extra time out there-
D- Yeah we were.
G- And I really just didn’t know who I was.
D- I thought we were gonna move out there. I thought that was it.
UP- And you said ‘if you call me Elvis Costello one more time that’s it’. (silence) That’s the glasses-
(group laughter)
UP- Oh shit, I didn’t mean to diss the band especially not at the beginning of the interview.
G- But that’s another glasses comment-
UP- Yeah I know! And we weren’t even talking about that, we were talking about that... druG-nosed, piG-nosed Elton John! Anyway...
D- No, globe-straddling.
UP- Globe-straddling...
(All as a group) Drug hoover, drug-pig!
UP- (laughing like mental)
ALEX- Who said that? He deserves a medal!
UP- That’s a great name for the next Blur album isn’t it? (menacingly) Drug Pig! (laughter) (deep breath) Anyway...
DAVE- (laughs) I love your linking style! "hahahaha- Anyway…"
UP- There you go. I thought you said linking- you did say ‘linking’ didn’t you? Um... do they throw stuff at you in New York? At one of the gigs?
A- What when you’re walking down the street?
Dv- (laughs)
A- (to one side) Well he said ‘do they throw stuff at you?’
D- No, no you got that mixed up, er, we were playing the KROQ
UP- gig, yeah...
D- Whatever it is... Fest. Why there’s no ‘evil’ at the end.
G- Luscious Jackson-
D- Yeah Luscious Jackson walked off. They got... bowled off.
UP- Because that’s a big Australian custom to throw shit at the band. I hope you guys don’t mind, yknow, we’ll be like ‘See Blur! Throw ____?’ (- didn’t catch what he said)
D- Not as bad as South America where they spit at you so you have to have big fans at the front to kind of... blow the spit back into the audience.
UP- Yeah that’s cos of the camels. That’s the big camel thing there- that’s actually known as a greeting. That’s actually a kind of... term of enderment.
G- Camel spit.
D- There’s no camel’s in South America.
(silence)
UP- Oh ok. (laughs)
D- Really unpleasant habit.
UP- Ok, I made that bit up then. Um, and you did the Tibetan-
D- Llama’s. Lot’s of llama’s though- they spit as well don’t they?
UP- Yeah, but not as far as camels. Camels can spit one hundred meters.
A- (rustling and protesting noises)
D- You’ve got a lot of camels that aren’t supposed to be here-
UP- (to Alex) Yeah, one hundred meters.
A- No they can’t. They can’t.
Dv- How do they spit one hundred meters?
A- You lie! You lie!
UP- One hundred meters- no I would *not* make that up. A hundred- oh it could be a hundred feet. (silence) Maybe it’s ten meters...
(group laughter and mass comments of ‘that’s a long way’ ‘100m is quite a long way’)
UP- Let’s check out the brand new single right now. And we’ll be back to talk more about camels and llama’s with Blur. This is MOR. (plays MOR)
UP- So um, the Tibet concert in Washington and New York... what was all that about?
A- It was very worthy and... very nice to be involved with.
UP- Yeah? Did you put that in your tax return like, yknow, have you done any tax free stuff this year?
D- (a bit too fiesty than necesscary) Shut up Alex you ponce! I fucking hate you when you talk like that!
A- (heavy breathing)
D- Makes me just wanna go like *that* to you.
Dv- Bit of friction here, bit of friction- brotherly friction.
D- No it just winds me up because it was such a... wonderful day and he just... doesn’t get it at all. Things like that.
UP- I was being cynical. I was enjoying being cynical now I’m going to have to come down and go ‘yeah it was great’. Yknow- I was-
D- (starts saying something)
UP- I was on your side Alex!
(Damon and Graham both start talking on top of each other which basically sounds like-) D-(raising his voice) No no no but- I actually, well I personally felt... I was very, I was very moved by that day
G-I had to play guitar infront of two of my heroes which was very- which was very-
D- (continuing) And I just find his cynicism towards it a bit erm...
UP- Ok ok. Cynicism...
D- A bit unpleasant.
UP- Er… Dalai Llama rejoycement... uh, hero worshipping... Did you get anything out of this gig over there? (laughing)
G- No not hero worshipping, I just had to perform infront of two... of my kind of... contemporary heroes.
UP- Who was that?
G- Thurston Moore and
UP- (cheerfully) Right! And Thurston’s worked on your new album! Or doing a remix.
G-Well, he’s done a remix, yeah, he did a kind of um, an attempt at a kind of um... a symphonic poem. Sort of thing. Yeah.
UP- Right. (silence) Talking about Sonic Youth makes everyone... down doesn’t it?
G- No- doesn’t make me down.
UP- OK well I won’t talk about them anyway.
G- Makes me confused and scared.
UP- Yeah? Why? What you might like- end up like that?
G-Because they play confusing and scary music.
UP- Yeah? All of a sudden there’ll be this song out- there’ll be no hook line, just a whole bunch of guitar being fed back through a washing machine. Yknow.
Dv- Oh that’s a very... cynical approach to-
UP- (laughing) It’s not cynical it’s good! (everyone starts talking over the top of each other)
D- I think you and Alex will get it fantastic.
UP- No you’ve pissed him off. You’ve pissed him off see- he’s not gonna talk now.
D- See we’ve spent too much time in America. We’re starting to get cold sweats with all this, all this cynicism.
G- I think that’s just... flippancy.
UP- What flippant? To what- call Sonic Youth music feedback into a washing machine? I thought it was creative. If NME had written that you would’ve liked it. Hey?
A- I’m with you there mate. I’m with you there I think they’re crap.
UP- Yeah good on you Alex.
G- You’re making my palms sweat alright- just shut up!
UP- Haha. Hey um...
Dv- Bit of a swine sir? Bit of a swine?
(long silence)
UP- You can’t say swine on Australian radio! What do you think you are?
G- Er, Drug Pig.
UP- Yeah Drug Pig’s right.
D- Reminds me of Botany Bay doesn’t it? (I think he was looking out the window)
UP- Yeah it does. So you haven’t seen any sunshine the whole way over here?
D- Oh here’s come’s the sunshine.
UP- Yeah here’s the sun-
D- Ah- Brisbane was fantastic. But as soon as we got here it was like, you were gonna get killed by an axe murderer anD-
UP- Yeah that’s really freaked you out hasn’t it?
D- It has. I was, I was looking in my cupboards in the hotel last night. I heard a bang and I was like "Fuck- he’s in here!"
UP- (laughing) That’s room service!
D- (laughing) He’s in here!
UP- Yeah room service- would you like us to cut that sandwich sir… with an axe!
D- (raising his voice and getting a bit excited) I just imagined the door suddenly-
UP- Opening-
D- No just this... This kind of blade coming through the door.
(group laughter)
UP- Back with more from Blur in a moment!
A- There’s Ash in there- we should get their autographs! I like Ash...
UP- Ash are good though. They have a new single out called ‘Life Less Ordinary’ from the movie... Which doesn’t... star... Damon.
D- No well.. no no no- no movies star me. I wouldn’t star in a movie.
UP- No that’s right. Why would one want to go and do that?
(silence)
D- Ash write some lovely songs.
G- (rustling and standing up noises)
UP- That’s it. He’s had enough.
G- I’m just going to have a stretch.
UP- (relief) I thought you were going to come over and punch me for a second. I was like ‘oh you ready to go yeah alright!’
G- I was kinda head first, but the thought pulled off when I was standing up.
UP- I don’t have anything else to talk about. So if you want to ask any questions or anything like that, you can go right ahead.
(In the background Dave says ‘what should we do tomorrow- on our day off?’)
A- What are you doing tonight?
UP- (sigh) When are you doing a gig? Is that tonight?
A- Are you coming?
UP- No, cos I have to work. Unless you can-
D- We’re playing for 3 nights.
Dv- We can video it for ya.
UP- Can you start the gig at about 11? Is that possible?
G- (taking the question seriously) No. Curfew’s and rules and things.
UP- Yeah… well maybe you can do like, a jazz fusion gig and like, keep it going for like 20 mins.
G- Well I mean, there’s elements of that anyway.
UP- (trying another attempt at humour) Yeah. Yeah... sort of, half an hour off of parliament in the middle of something.
Dv- We could go off before the encore for like...
UP- 20mins?
Dv- 2 hours or something...
(tired laughter)
UP- Yeah- re-cue the DAT (laughs)
A- (chuckles) Right... that’s true actually.
UP- Anything else you want to mention? How come the station upstairs got an acoustic and we didn’t and we support you guys a hell of a lot more?
D- Really?
UP- Yeah.
D- Is that the case?
UP- Yeah I was really pissed.
D- Oh well that’s kind of not really our bag is it?
UP- Yeah- I don’t care anymore. I don’t care, I don’t want to know.
(cut to ad break)
(Come back to Blur singing a Gregorian Monk chant. An actual recording of one cuts in halfway thru to much giggling and shh-ing)
A- It’s really us! We weren’t miming!
UP- I know! I know!
G- Hey, hey, we’re The Monks!
(silence followed by mass laughter)
UP- Yeah, a lighter version. Have you heard many Australian bands by the way?
A- Stereolab have got an Australian girl in and they’re great!
UP- They’re on Richard Branson’s new label aren’t they? V2. And he’s just signed
G- (to one side) Is Stereolab on that?
A- I dunno.
Dv- Triffid!
G- Oh my God... there, there is a really good Australian band...
UP- silverchair? You heard of them?
D- No no- don’t like them particularly.
A- They’re crap.
UP- Why? Why don’t you like silverchair?
D- Nick Cave obviously but I mean, is he really-
G- I like him.
D- Is he really the top man in Australia?
UP- Who’s that- Nick Cave?
D- Yeah.
UP- Nah.
D- No?
UP – Nah. Nah- who would be?
D- Cos he’s the most famous Autsralian in Britain.
G- Apart from Jim off Neighbours. Or whatever.
UP- John Farnham. He’s big.
D- Jimmy Barnes?
UP- Yeah! Jimmy!
And that’s when it ends. I think they did one more segment thingy. They replayed bits of it a few months later and all I caught was:
A- Best band in the world! (mysterious clinking of glasses in the background) I've 'ad enough!
G- We're one of the best bands in the world.
D- We're are one of the best bands, there's no question about that.
UP- Yeah.
D- But not *the* best, but one of the best.
UP- Why, why- who is the best band?
D- There isn't *the* best because every- because the best bands in thw world are very good at what they do, yknow but no one's... it's not possible to be the best at everything.
UP- Yeah.